Happy New Year?

January 3, 2024 at 12:44 pm (Caring for the Sick, Feelings, Teacher's life)
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Warning. This is a rant. And also suggestions to overcome New Year’s Blues (?) at the end.

“It’s not a happy time at work but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a happy new year,” I heard myself replying to my colleague, mainly to cheer her up as there’ve been overwhelming waves of programmes, exams, that kept coming, not by stages so that we could catch a breath. It’s simultaneous, especially Form 5 teachers in my school. I know it’s a norm for teachers to teach multiple subjects, but is it really something that should be taken as a norm? (perhaps it’s a good title for me to do my action research in this year) Especially all Form 5 classes with 1 Form 4 class. My colleagues, History + Moral, History + Add Maths, HIstory + English, to name a few. Well, mine? History + English, definitely overwhelming from time to time. With my commitment towards completing my PITO course as a “licensed-but-not-certified” (it’s a whole other episode of rant+reality next time) English teacher. (Do NOT judge, I dare not say all PITO teachers but some of us did study, burned the midnight oil to complete all assignments, no cutting corners and are dedicated as much as the TESL/TESOL graduated English teachers too)

There’s been 2-hour programme for all F5 pupils as the real deal is really around the corner. Every single day. On top of that, F5 subject teachers still enter classes like usual. And yea, today’s just the second day. I was mentally prepared, being interlocutor half the morning and then straight with the 2-hour programme but still it took a toll. Then we received news that there will be programme as such for the coming week again. When will I see my dear Form 4 kids??? Or will I be seeing them then my Form 5 kids??? Guess the answer will be revealed soon.

Home.

Sometimes, a tiny blip of sound will voice at somewhere distant, “it’s all your fault so you shouldn’t complain” but immediately it’s covered by rational mind telling “there’s no point finger pointing in the midst of crisis management” and just focused on problem solving. But I did react with a tinge of resentment from time to time.

Maybe it’s just because I’ve just started watching Daily Dose of Sunshine which is a K-drama with the theme focusing on mental health, with responsibilities and all that has caused this rant. But yea, penning down thoughts helps to document growth.

And I do find that self-awareness and motivational quotes (1 before you start the day and 1 before sleep) help in regulating emotions. Just in time I found the book gifted by the mum of a good friend of mine. (Signs from the universe XD) Maybe journalling also helps? Like what I just did.

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The power of WORDS.

March 9, 2023 at 3:26 pm (Caring for the Sick, Feelings)
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WORDS. is a powerful tool. It heals and kills people – emotions, feelings…literally. Do all sick and elderly people become self-centred they could not be a bit kinder? It’s true that it’s unfair that one has to bear through the pain and sufferings. But when efforts been shown, albeit not up to expectation, why not view glass half full instead? Unintentional (or intentional), hateful, hurtful as well as insulting words are just sputtered, wrongly justified by so-called reason.

Be more forgiving to sick people, they’re in pain, they’re unwell that’s why they’re cantankerous and petulant. Are explanations that have been given. To the extent when they feel like it’s just turning a blind eye to what should be set right. When hands are tied, then comes the great ability of mankind, adapting. Slowly accepting and adapting, until where the point that it hurts much lesser as when it first hit.

Nonetheless, been really thankful there are great support around. Offering both tangible and intangible gifts that one doesn’t know how to repay but to return in the form of spreading the kindness to others, and to myself. Family, good friends, ex-students and students (sons and daughters alike), ex-colleagues and colleagues as well as medical staff.


The eyes have wanted to be like the sky here recently, producing some water. Yet, they haven’t been able to. It was worrying as recently they have been working non-stop for the owner for some impractical but vital activities, of running away from the reality. Until the moment the familiar rhythm plays again, and together with the empowering story of how the character in the MV rose against all odds that the waterworks proves the worrying wrong – it’s just that the switch has been upgraded.

“The sky has no limit My future has no boundaries

The me who break free from the cocoon will fly towards a clearer sky

If the road ahead is far Take a look to the past

See the you in the mirror of how far you have brought the past me to

How many times the scenes of losing control appears in my heart

How many sarcasm came furiously to the ear

How many nights of losing sleep Have you ever felt like living one day that feels like years

Nearly collapsing

When I desolately await the coming Spring

When I quietly let the tears fall in my heart

When everything is against will Who has never complained

Advance and retreat are all within that moment of thought

The sky has no limit My future has no boundaries

The me who break free from the cocoon will fly towards a clearer sky

If the road ahead is far Take a look to the past

See the you in the mirror of how far you have brought the past me to…:

G.E.M – The Sky (Album ‘Revelation)

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A long overdue realisation

June 16, 2020 at 10:47 am (Feelings)
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According to the definition by Cambridge,

Fantasy “a pleasant situation that you enjoy thinking about but is unlikely to happen, or the activity of imagining things like this”

Imagination “something that you think exists or is true, although in fact it is not real or true”

According to the Meyer-Briggs test, I, am a feeler (which means I’m driven by values of compassion, altruism, and cooperation). One of my ENFP traits. Curiosity, self-expression, variety and adaptability are my core values. Expressing creativity, embracing new experiences, understanding people as well as providing acceptance and support are my key motivators. These pose a prescient warning that I tend to indulge in imagination and fantasy that leads me into disillusionment.

I have been receiving clear signs but tend to overlook them, not wanting them to be true. For a very long time. Getting advice from close friends, trying to understand through some research these days as well as self-reflection, brought me to acceptance – that I do like you a lot (1461 days and more), but it doesn’t reciprocate. So, I guess…it’s time to give up. You once wrote me a poem and you mentioned the element that I’m really fond of (only to find out now that there’s another meaning – to be easily offended and upset, but I’m sure you didn’t mean that). Snowflake, rare to behold, appears only in the coldest time; mysterious, wondrous form of snow yet I live in the tropical climate my whole life, never set foot in any occasion where real snow could be seen and touch. I began to yearn for it. Only to come to a realisation that we often want things we aren’t meant to get.

Goodbye.

 

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Earth’s Post Vacay Blues & Perks during Vacay

June 11, 2020 at 12:24 pm (Once In A Lifetime)
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Today is the first day of the recovery movement control order (RMCO) by Malaysia. It also marks that this part of Earth is coming back from its relaxing rejuvenation vacation. Ever since the outbreak of the deadly Covid-19, Earth had been enjoying her well-deserved long overdue break of close to 3 months (by the 18th of this month). This is because of the lockdown that happened almost around that time all over the world. It is shown in different parts of Earth before & after lockdown.

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Azure sky during lockdown (no filter).

When she’s having her break, her people (us) were caught off guard and thrown into depths of fear, anxiety, despair, depression and deaths as Covid-19 mercilessly ripping off lives it touched on. Despite the negative outbreak of emotions and feelings, there were heartwarming, inspiring and fun moments when all kinds of out-of-the-box talents and hobbies.

For my personal fun times, I had a once-in-a-lifetime (hopefully there won’t be another outbreak of deadly viruses) birthday treat for myself and from my besties:

Myself:

  1. Got myself a new laptop (after the struggle of FOBO for months) as the old one was in critical situation.

    IdeaPad 5

  2. Thought to myself, “What I could do in giving in ways I’m capable of?” That day, I had class with my 5Sc1 and 4K (including my Jeram) kids, so I played a game with them, the winners of the game will receive a prize (initial plan of food delivery changed to donation on their behalf as the place they live in do not have food delivery). Also, awarded them with good behaviour merit (keyed into SSDM).
  3. Two days later, I went out for grocery shopping the first time after lockdown.

Prepped for grocery shopping!

From my besties:

  1. A day after, I was having class (it’s Reading Month day celebration so I did read aloud with my kids) as usual. During break, a random text pinged in my besties group – one bestie of mine craved for Starbucks. And a random thought came to my mind, why don’t I give a small treat? (just for fun!) One thing led to another, I got myself a birthday treat instead! I’ll let the pictures do the talking.

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    2. Then, a few days later, an unexpected parcel dropped to my house (just like Harry Potter receiving his broom!).

    So to sum up, it’s more like my throwback birthday celebration during movement control order (MCO) and it’s on Earth Day week! There are many other small highlights during MCO:

    @ Keeping in touch with important people in my life, including those who feel too comfortable until feel like doing business to just happy seeing their faces or hearing their voices.

    @ Commitment shown by my kids throughout the online classes we’ve been having.

    @ Reconnecting with kids via online gaming session whilst trying to derive meaning from things kids love – esports.

    @ Able to catch up on long overdue dramas (will be sharing some meaningful quotes I picked up from the dramas I’ve watched in the next post) and books.

    @ Do something in my power to show support to people during difficult times (live performance on FB)

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New Year, old memory~

January 1, 2011 at 2:23 pm (Uncategorized)
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Before I start writing, I would like to say…..”Happy 2011~Wish you all the best in this year, happiness, health and wealth be your good friend all the time!!!”

Well, before 2010 ends, many things had happened, including happy ones and sad ones. But, I ain’t going to write all that had happened (of course), only the recent ones – this week.

I had gone camping. The camp that was once my everything which is 全国中学华文学会生活营(全中华). During my first year, I had joined in this camp thanks to a friend of mine and my happy hectic first year’s life began. It was indeed a year filled with happiness, and I can say that I led a life then. Now, I still do! So, I met with my old friends on the 25th of December 2010 (Christmas Day) and they brought me eat good food (as usual, happiness seems to linger around them and seems like whenever I’m with them, I’d be more happy). Then, preparation begins…slowly. Because back then there were only three of us. The day after, four more showed up and preparation begins! We practised dances that were used during Qzh3 and Qzh4. It was tough! Thanks to Chee Kean and Kah Boon and Chee Tieng that we don’t have to worry about some admin stuffs and booklet, thus I had time to focus on memorizing the dances.

The day finally arrived. We set off with anticipation, heart that longed for going back to the “home” once more. To relive the memory that once we had together.

President of QZH 3

 

KKB

President of QZH 4

 

 

Ser Pin & Chee Tieng

VIPs of QZH =)

Amelia

Qi

 

Thanks Amelia and Qi as well for accompanying us during practise.

Due to the reason that I didn’t participate in QZH4, I was worried that I might not be able to blend in that well compared to others. Thus, when I saw Jia Fu register on that day (i was excited way before when I knew that most QZH3 members happened to be the ones that I know~), I felt relieved and thrilled because I met with the famous Esprit after two years. After that, I felt more at ease in meeting new members, probably because I haven’t been meeting with new people in a long while (especially younger ones..haha) And journey of two-day camp starts~

 

1st day gathering

Tang Yuan preparation

 

Performance

And there’s preparation for lightings too~

Light up our hearts

Capture the moment of being together

Visit Mr. Lim Lian Gok cemetery (with Kah Boon)

with Chee Kean

Sumptious meal

Play time

Souvenir time (precious necklace with names)

Then it’s time for farewell~ No matter how sad it made me, yet deep down I believe that we will meet again someday. Just as before, two years ago when I say goodbye with you all.

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