Happy New Year?

January 3, 2024 at 12:44 pm (Caring for the Sick, Feelings, Teacher's life)
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Warning. This is a rant. And also suggestions to overcome New Year’s Blues (?) at the end.

“It’s not a happy time at work but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a happy new year,” I heard myself replying to my colleague, mainly to cheer her up as there’ve been overwhelming waves of programmes, exams, that kept coming, not by stages so that we could catch a breath. It’s simultaneous, especially Form 5 teachers in my school. I know it’s a norm for teachers to teach multiple subjects, but is it really something that should be taken as a norm? (perhaps it’s a good title for me to do my action research in this year) Especially all Form 5 classes with 1 Form 4 class. My colleagues, History + Moral, History + Add Maths, HIstory + English, to name a few. Well, mine? History + English, definitely overwhelming from time to time. With my commitment towards completing my PITO course as a “licensed-but-not-certified” (it’s a whole other episode of rant+reality next time) English teacher. (Do NOT judge, I dare not say all PITO teachers but some of us did study, burned the midnight oil to complete all assignments, no cutting corners and are dedicated as much as the TESL/TESOL graduated English teachers too)

There’s been 2-hour programme for all F5 pupils as the real deal is really around the corner. Every single day. On top of that, F5 subject teachers still enter classes like usual. And yea, today’s just the second day. I was mentally prepared, being interlocutor half the morning and then straight with the 2-hour programme but still it took a toll. Then we received news that there will be programme as such for the coming week again. When will I see my dear Form 4 kids??? Or will I be seeing them then my Form 5 kids??? Guess the answer will be revealed soon.

Home.

Sometimes, a tiny blip of sound will voice at somewhere distant, “it’s all your fault so you shouldn’t complain” but immediately it’s covered by rational mind telling “there’s no point finger pointing in the midst of crisis management” and just focused on problem solving. But I did react with a tinge of resentment from time to time.

Maybe it’s just because I’ve just started watching Daily Dose of Sunshine which is a K-drama with the theme focusing on mental health, with responsibilities and all that has caused this rant. But yea, penning down thoughts helps to document growth.

And I do find that self-awareness and motivational quotes (1 before you start the day and 1 before sleep) help in regulating emotions. Just in time I found the book gifted by the mum of a good friend of mine. (Signs from the universe XD) Maybe journalling also helps? Like what I just did.

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The power of WORDS.

March 9, 2023 at 3:26 pm (Caring for the Sick, Feelings)
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WORDS. is a powerful tool. It heals and kills people – emotions, feelings…literally. Do all sick and elderly people become self-centred they could not be a bit kinder? It’s true that it’s unfair that one has to bear through the pain and sufferings. But when efforts been shown, albeit not up to expectation, why not view glass half full instead? Unintentional (or intentional), hateful, hurtful as well as insulting words are just sputtered, wrongly justified by so-called reason.

Be more forgiving to sick people, they’re in pain, they’re unwell that’s why they’re cantankerous and petulant. Are explanations that have been given. To the extent when they feel like it’s just turning a blind eye to what should be set right. When hands are tied, then comes the great ability of mankind, adapting. Slowly accepting and adapting, until where the point that it hurts much lesser as when it first hit.

Nonetheless, been really thankful there are great support around. Offering both tangible and intangible gifts that one doesn’t know how to repay but to return in the form of spreading the kindness to others, and to myself. Family, good friends, ex-students and students (sons and daughters alike), ex-colleagues and colleagues as well as medical staff.


The eyes have wanted to be like the sky here recently, producing some water. Yet, they haven’t been able to. It was worrying as recently they have been working non-stop for the owner for some impractical but vital activities, of running away from the reality. Until the moment the familiar rhythm plays again, and together with the empowering story of how the character in the MV rose against all odds that the waterworks proves the worrying wrong – it’s just that the switch has been upgraded.

“The sky has no limit My future has no boundaries

The me who break free from the cocoon will fly towards a clearer sky

If the road ahead is far Take a look to the past

See the you in the mirror of how far you have brought the past me to

How many times the scenes of losing control appears in my heart

How many sarcasm came furiously to the ear

How many nights of losing sleep Have you ever felt like living one day that feels like years

Nearly collapsing

When I desolately await the coming Spring

When I quietly let the tears fall in my heart

When everything is against will Who has never complained

Advance and retreat are all within that moment of thought

The sky has no limit My future has no boundaries

The me who break free from the cocoon will fly towards a clearer sky

If the road ahead is far Take a look to the past

See the you in the mirror of how far you have brought the past me to…:

G.E.M – The Sky (Album ‘Revelation)

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